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HAPPY AUGUST

I miss school suddenly, this is the time where we’ll be wearing our National Attire (hahaha why this sound so funny) and I’ll be still rocking the ultimate saya of all time (I think I use that green saya for about 4 years? I wore hello kitty saya during elem days kasi)

Anyway, I’ve been doing something lately and I’m currently at day 41. I really wanted to post something about it so the whole world would know but I really want to surprise everyone and I hope this time, I’ll make it. I’ve been trying hard for the past years, I just hope I will not stop in the middle while doing so, it’s hard to start again and hate yourself again hahahahah whoo~

AND it has been almost 2 months without uri leader, Kim Hanbin. Fudge, I really can’t believe this is happening right now, I have never signed up for this shit and I want to really quit being a fangirl but this his Kim Hanbin and iKON. I’ve been with these boys since 2014 and I know how strong their brotherhood is. They have this power of making you feel like you’ve known them personally since childhood because they’re this transparent to us. This is never giving up ikon, we will do our best everyday while waiting for the time where we can walk on a flowery road again with seven of you.

xxxxxx this is a very random post, my mind is kinda scattered right now, I’m also watching 3 ongoing Korean Dramas as of the moment and this is the first time, because I always tend to wait for the drama to finish before watching but I really can’t stay up that late like before, the tita in me is aching every now and then and always asking for rest. HAHAHHA

b y e // stan iKON for clear skin

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ENTRY NO. 4

Excerpt from the book that I will never write

“how about making the first move?” she asked “you think it will be okay for a girl to like give a guy a letter of confession or something?”

“I think it’s okay. We are living in a world where girls are very powerful, I think there’s nothing wrong of telling someone how you really feel” she replied but look bothered

“Why do you have an expression like that?”

“Because by doing so, you also have to deal with the pain of a love that will never be reciprocated” she sighed “well, in any case, if he’s not feeling the same way and you’re just being the delulu you”

She laughed “I think it’s the part of the process, you cannot like or love someone without being hurt because you are investing your feelings and time, everyone has to deal with it somehow, I think so? I guess?” she grinned.

She pulled her notebook and pen from her bag, flipped into blank page and started writing the date today…

“Are you sure about this? There’s no turning back” she asked

“I guess” she looked at her “my emotions are eating me up I need to tell this to him, I mean, whatever it takes. What’s important is that he will know I exist. That someone like me, from the other part of the world, exist”

“Well, even if your feelings will never be reciprocated, I can see that he will appreciate it. By the looks of it okay? I think he is a nice guy and very understanding”

“I think so too and I hope I can make him smile by reading my letter”

“I bet he will. Imagine receiving a handwritten letter from someone? I wish I can receive one too so that whenever I feel down or I feel ugly, I can always read something that will brighten me up” she said, it sound very shallow but little things can make the world go round too right?

“Well, do you want me to write a letter for you?” She asked and they both laughed

“I swear to God if I receive a letter from you I will read it out loud for the whole world to hear”

She laughed “You wish!”

She continued the letter by writing his name

leave space

On the other side of the clouds is a bright and blue sky

I think you look best when you speak from your heart

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Half a million

I was going to update my unpublished story (that I plan to have like, 3 books HAHAH feeling greatest writer ako e bakit ba???) but I felt the need to check the status of my first ever published novel on www to motivate myself and guess what everyone, HAHA we going 500K mygod, I am so fucking thrilled right now. If I can only give thanks to my silent readers isa isa. HUHUH

zomg

Can these stats be in real life ba? Like, imagine having 477K sales for my first ever published novel? But of course, parang malabo pa sa ngayon but I want to keep on writing as long as I can.

myheartbeatingsofastFor now, I am very much happy with it. I cannot believe I have these stats, all I want was to publish my story and Tadaaah! I got so much more. HUHUH

Gusto ko lang naman burger pero may shake shake fries pang kasama tapos may coffee float pa! HAHAHHAHA

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nose to the bleed

I had a severe nosebleed episode yesterday and a very very very masakit na ulo before and right after. Maybe because of the heat? HUHU but I thought it’s officially the start of rainy season pero I can’t feel the cold wind. Please BER months, come through already and yes Amihan szn, I already miss you comeback to me HAHAHA

Another week has passed with me being emotional all the time. I think this is hormonal imbalance and I’m doing an evaluation to myself if I am this weak or baka hormones ko lang.

glasscaseofemotions

But, you know, there are times na I want to give up. Human nature siguro talaga yung thoughts of giving up and sleeping the whole day and at the same time, human nature rin yung never give up, tomorrow is another day. Life is getting difficult day by day especially if you’re into late adult phase, I have so many dreams before but when reality struck me hard, nawala na silang lahat.

I always question myself about my dreams and passions, I even want to work at NASA to learn and take care of the stars and galaxies, ganun talaga kataas pangarap ko before, anyway, as of now, I want to live sa Baguio, maybe for a month or two HUHU I really love that place and the cold weather but I need more ipon and it’s so hard to ipon in this economy.

Wow ang random, ending this post with /no regrets just love/

Ang random talaga ugh my mind